Ek Aur Subah

Teen hafte tha Sunita ne socha tha ki yeh shaadi khatam kar do. Nahi khulke socha — woh invisible thought tha jo late night mein aata tha, jab dono ek hi bed pe hote the aur itne alge lagte the jaise alag states mein the. 10 saal ho gaye the. Pehle 5 saal mast the — problems thi lekin dono handle karte the, baatein hoti thi, haste the. Kab change hua tha? Koi ek event nahi tha — dheere dheere hua tha, jaise ghar ki ek deewar pe seepan aata hai — pehle notice nahi hoti, phir ek din poori wall bheegi hoti hai. Prakash job mein busy tha. Sunita bachcho mein. Dono apni apni duniya mein the. Aur jab milte the toh conversation 'rashaa khatam hai', 'bijli ka bill', 'bache ki school meeting' tak rehti thi. Kabhi pehle wali nahi hoti thi.

Ek raat — bachche so gaye the aur Prakash late aaya tha — Sunita ne TV nahi kiya. Woh wahan baithi rahi. Prakash kitchen mein khaana le raha tha toh Sunita wahan gayi. 'Ruko. Baat karni hai.' Prakash ne khana rakha. '...Kya hua?' 'Kuch nahi hua. Aur wahi problem hai.' Pause. 'Kab tha humara last real conversation?' Prakash soch ke bola aur jaana ki aata nahi tha jawab easy se. Yeh woh moment tha. Sunita ne bola: 'Main khush nahi hoon. Main tum se bhi nahi hoon — main sirf iss distance se nahi hoon. Aur main jaanti hoon ki main bhi responsible hoon. Lekin main nahi jaanta ki hum aise kab se hain.'

Prakash ne kitchen ka stool pe baitha — jaise baat karne ka decision le liya tha. 'Main darta hoon. Ghar ke expenses, Papa ki health, office mein junior log fast aage ja rahe hain. Main itna andar hoon is sab mein ki tumse baatein karne ki energy nahi rehti — ya shayad dar hai ki tumhe bhi yeh sab share karna padega.' Sunita ne suna. '10 saal mein pehli baar tum ne mujhe bola ki darte ho.' 'Yeh weakness hai.' 'Nahi, Prakash. Yeh sach hai. Aur sach hi toh chahiye tha mujhe.' Dono kuch der chup rahe — woh silence nahi jo distance hai, woh waali jo tab hoti hai jab kuch bada hua ho. Raat ke 2 baj rahe the. Khaana thanda ho gaya tha.

Dono ne wahan raat ke 2 baje baat ki — ek baar ki nahi, ghanton ki. Sunita ne bataya ki woh akela feel karti hai ghar mein. Prakash ne bataya ki woh guilty feel karta hai ki ghar ke liye kaafi nahi kar raha. Dono ki feelings alag direction mein thi lekin dono ke feeling ke source ek hi tha: same ghar mein akele hona. '10 saal ho gaye hain,' Sunita ne bola, 'Lekin aaj jaisa conversation pehle kabhi nahi hua.' 'Kyunki pehle itni zaroorat nahi aayi.' Subah 4 baje Sunita ne chai banaai — garam, adrak waali. Dono ne kitchen mein baith ke peeyi. Bahar Indore uthne se pehle ki khamoshi thi — birds, dheemi hawa. Yeh nayi subah thi literally aur otherwise.

Sab fix nahi hua ek raat mein — Sunita jaanti thi. Teen hafte waala invisible thought abhi bhi memory mein tha. Lekin distance thoda kum hua tha — ek conversation mein kitna hota hai woh Sunita pehle nahi jaanti thi. Bacche uthne se pehle dono ne soy liye — is baar ek doosre ki taraf kuch closer. Subah ko jab Prakash office ke liye nikla toh darwaze pe ruka aur bola: 'Shukriya. Raat ki baat ke liye.' Sunita ne muskuraaya. 'Aur roz thoda karo yeh. Chhoti chhoti baat bhi chalegi.' 'Promise.' Woh gaya. Sunita kitchen mein aayi — chai banaai, aur is baar chai ki jagah garm mehsoos ki — ghar ki, apni, sab ki.